Part 3 🙈

So, today started off okay. Breakfast went down well apart from feeling bloated afterwards, but that's normal for me. Lunch was a really quick high calorie milkshake because I was going out, and I knew that if I had anything with it, it would either make me vomit, or leave me feeling too bloated. I still felt slightly sick just from drinking the milkshake, but it was tolerable. I came home & had beans & a small pasty for tea, washed down with a cup of green tea. I was really hoping for it to digest well, as I just couldn't be bothered. I had backache & joint pain which is standard for me after going out. So I just wanted to rest without any digestive drama. It wasn't a big meal, so I expected to feel a bit bloated but nothing else. However, it didn't digest at all & within two hours, I'd made numerous trips to the toilet, and vomited around half of it back up. I know I should be used to this crap by now. But I shouldn’t have to get used to it, should I? I shouldn’t just be left to deal with these symptoms alone while I wait another few months for referrals to come through. I know from what I’ve read that there isn’t much they can do for gastroparesis, but treatment options are available to ease flare ups, so why am I STILL waiting for help a whole year after being referred to the gastrointestinal specialist? I know I talk about this a lot on blogger, but I feel like it’s the only way to express my frustration. I talk about my health to my family. I talk to them about Marfan syndrome, about my chronic pain & joint problems, but I can’t start boring them with my gastrointestinal problems now as well as everything else, can I? So I briefly mention it but I mostly keep the digestive symptoms to myself. Who really wants to hear how bloated & nauseous I am every day after eating? 

Before this latest gastrointestinal flare up, I was coping okay with the symptoms. They hadn’t gone. I don’t think that’ll ever happen now, but they’d been a little less severe & easier to cope with. But since it all flared up again last week, I’ve been struggling. I won’t lie, it’s depressing sometimes, as I just want to enjoy a good meal & get on with my day. But I can’t do that anymore, thanks to my connective tissue disorder. A flare up usually lasts a good few weeks before the symptoms settle again, so I might be in for a bumpy ride. It’s not exactly an easy ride when the symptoms are less severe, though. As I still suffer from a lot of bloating & nausea, but it’s more manageable & less stressful than when I’m in full on flare mode and vomiting after food.